Surprises would scream hello every so often.
First the move
Something that had been a bitter pill for me to swallow.
And yet the day was filled with friendly smiles
From the one person who shined so brightly.
I was never excited
To leave the one place I called home
For the past 12 years.
But he reassured me that everything would be okay
As if I needed him to hold my hand
As I walked through the door of my new “home”.
“Home is where your family is”
But how can that be
If there are parts of us still running through the halls
Of our past life?
However, the move did not matter so much
Because he was there
And I was no longer afraid.
The beating drum in my chest did not hurt anymore
The earthquake that had been growing inside
Died down every moment his eyes met mine.
I found every piece of myself
Sewed myself back together
Just so I could ask him to dance the night away with me.
It had been my new favorite fairytale.
The one dream I constantly wished would come true.
Except my ambition and desires got the best of me.
I was too blinded by what I wanted
To actually see who he really was.
I have experienced heartbreak
So many times
It is always of the inevitable
But it always happens.
Life will never be perfect
And I cannot make myself seem perfect.
He went into hiding
And when he decided to say hello
He was the real him
I had never met before.
He found himself a new love
One I did not expect
I always painted the pictures of us
While he was painting pictures with someone else.
It does not seem fair to say that I loved him
Since I never really knew who he was.
He came out from the dark
The skin he was once hiding in.
And he is happy.
The world swallowed me whole
And his voice was not going to be my saving grace
Because he was whispering
“I love you”
To his boyfriend.
I had to realize
No one will save you but yourself
You do not need someone to hold your hand
You have to be the one to push yourself
You have to be the one to carry yourself
You have to be the one who makes you happy.
I had to learn
I had to love myself
Before anyone else could.
I had to learn that the earthquake inside
Was really a flower
Waiting to bloom
To grow into its full form.
I had to realize
That I am more than a nervous girl
Whose heart beats louder than a single music instrument.
For I am a symphony of beauty and love.