Looking at my life

It used to be a lie

Living day by day

Refusing to even try

So why one morning

When all I wanted was to cry

Did I see life as a blessing

And make the decision to fly?

Why at night when I was in my cell

Did I sit pondering on my past

Wondering “what the hell”

And why through all this trouble

Did I still refuse to tell

Was it because my past was too dangerous

Or was I just afraid to fail?

Why do I stay awake in the darkness of the night

Living for nothing more than to stay in the fight

Why did I breath

When I was submerged in the water

Did I hope I was saved because the flames stopped getting hotter?

All these questions surround me

From my shoulders to my toes

Should I just man up and ask them

Or do they even want to know?

I don’t want to be a nuisance

I’ve avoided it for so long

But how can I avoid it

When everything is going wrong?

So where do I go from here

Will it all just be a mess

Or will I step up to the challenge

And rise to be my best?