When all of this started; my realization of the beauty in life; I had these thoughts inside my head like “I’m dying, going off to heaven.”
I thought through the acts I promised myself I would commit for my own suicide but I did not commit them. I pseudo-sided. Pulled out the alcohol I promised I would drink, but did not take a sip of the real poison.
Then, every aspect of my life fell exactly how I see it needs to. Like magnetic puzzle pieces. The life that I fell into amazes me around every corner. Every light, every sunset, every bird, and the frogs that are now singing outside my window. I feel absolute awareness of my surroundings.