You know what scares me... a Blank page

It opens up the realm of unspeakable possibility

And the unknowing of what may lie ahead

is the worst of it all

Will I ever experience true creativity

Why does my anxiety, even now, chokes me still

I don't see success nor failure...

I see nothing

but T.D. Jakes says if I have no vision then I have no progress

Progress, truth be told,  I'm afraid of that too

I may progress in one area of my life but that one area is not all of who I am

I claim to be an artist but my fear, that unquenchable and crippling anxiety, seeps in

It engulfs me in the end.

And every art lesson learned, every masterpiece created pivots 

it falls neither into the depths of decrepit failure nor into the arms of unquestionable success

those things become mere facets of my life that seem to define nothing

Then I ask myself

Are you really good at this God-given talent or are you aiming for the wrong target?

Then all of my inquiries are answered with the internet...

I tell you Pinterest is of the devil lol

This has become my worst enemy.

I spend hours looking  at pictures of hairstyles that I'll never have anytime soon,

Clothes that will probably never fit because I refuse to give up my delectable sweet tooth,

and Artworks (even little sketches) that I compare my own to and see an obivious discrepancy

Yet as I write, revelation begins to proclaim itself...

I have something powerful deep down inside of my spirit

I have the proclivity to succeed inspite of anxiety, inspite of fear

I choose