Poison Love

A chance at love

A chance at regret
I don't know how long it'll last
But it's one I won't forget
I've been so broken
So beaten down and emotionally abused
So many risks taken 
So many relationships shattered
I kept reaching out 
Hoping for something solid to hold onto
Kept grasping rocks that just fell away under my touch
Eventually I began giving up
Settling for this shell I'd become
Allowing relationships
But never allowing love
Cause one thing I knew:
Love was a poison
One that crept in
Stayed silent until everything was perfect
Then it made its move
It lashed out
Attacked the heart straight on
Made it feel like fire was living in my veins
An inescapable torture that burned everyday 
Even when that fire seemed to cool
After so much time had passed
It was so easy to have it roar back to life
Feeling just like the initial heartbreak 
Eventually the fire was just something I lived with
A reminder to be more careful
A reminder not to love to closely
It was easier to be with someone
But never let them in, not fully 
That emotional unattachment
Made it simpler, less painful
For their inevitable departure
But somehow you got passed my shell
Managed to gain my trust
Made me feel safe, made me feel a little less broken
Maybe it was cause you were so broken too 
Blindly we walked into the very trap 
We tried to hard to avoid
That dangerous game of actually letting someone in
Letting someone have a chance at your heart
The vulnerability seemed worth it 
Seemed less terrifying with you there
So now we play a scary game
One that's terrified me all along
You now have the key to breaking me
And setting my veins ablaze once more
But I trust you
Even if I knew how to get out of this poison laced game
I wouldn't want to
Maybe you'll be worth the inevitable heartbreak 
Maybe you won't leave like everyone seems to 
I just know 
You're worth risking it all  


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