I'm having a pity party, and no one but my self-condemning thoughts are invited.

They're actually a lot of fun, a lot funner than those other stupid parties with real people.

But then again, I wouldn't know. I've always been chattin it up with the walls.

My pity parties are like, the best in town, you just don't know!

I'm not saying all this because I want you to come or anything like that.

I just thought that I would let you know, you know?

Ok.

I'm leaving now. You aren't invited . . .ok?

I going to have so much fun, you just wouldn't believe it even if you were there.

Well, you couldn't come anyway, right?