And it is with this that I am thrust
into the reality of the world
the world of blue eyes,
blonde hair
beige skin
where
being anything bigger than a 4 (god forbid)
is casually categorized as "fat"
this world,
where
my dark, ebony skin is described as exotic
where my braids and natural kinky curls
are only accepted as a fad or a movement, not a norm
where designers and marketers brainwash me
until I can't look at myself in the mirror without thinking

my eyes are too far apart
nose is too flat
skin too dark
ass too big
hair, uncontrollable
thighs, huge
body, fat

it is with this photo that I realize
that I live in a society
that will never accept me
or people like me
that those celebrities meant to placate me
are merely a construction of what differences are acceptable
it is with this that I will have an eternal and unattainable checklist of
light skin,
pale eyes,
full lips,
triangle nose,
skinny thighs,
blonde hair
so I will spend years crying at my failures
attempting to change
wishing to change
wanting to be someone I know I can't be
watching my life as a film where I play the sidekick
believing that the happy ending wasn't made for me
s go here)