Pen to paper

As I touch this pen to paper and mind to pen
Mind can only take on 2 things
You and me.
I can't seem write anymore,
There's a mental artery that clogged from all the frustration and pain you put me through
Pushing me further and further away from reality.
Im numbing my mind every night so I can deal with the shit you left me riddling my mind, hindering it useless stomping it toothless left to defend itself from the wickedness that is this orange bottle and my best worst enemy, jack.
Your love had me in purgatory I was lost but ok. I followed my light and felt directed in this abyss.
You left, I stayed.
I prayed to the emptiness up above and in return felt the sky cave in only to find iut the it was filled with pain loneliness and the burden sleeping in my own mind.
As I touch this pen to paper
And mind to pen
Mind can only take on 2 things.
You and him.
I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that you wrap your mind around him.
You look into his lake of fire and let it consume you. Devouring everything you are. Thinking this feeling he has for you is love but clouds of fog can be easily confused with clouds of smog. One natural and beautiful, the other and product of mans greed, a need for more of what he can have. And you just let him.
As I touch this pen to paper
And mind to pen
Mind can only take on 1 thing.
How my arms around you felt so right. But now its only muscle memories.