Pause

Pause in the mirror

Stare into the heart attack waiting to happen 

Smack flab lost in the caramel center 

Drunken slurs slosh and slip from innards thrown outwards

Take inventory: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, an old bunch of grapes

And enough alcohol for ten apes

Pause in the mirror

Mouth agape

"You stupid piece of shit, you said you'd never get drunk"

Spit, tears, and dribbles of hydrochloric acid dangle on the chin

"Look me in the eyes" a disheveled dirtbag who stares back

Looks like he smokes crack and dabs acid

Or grabs asses on a train, lets the other guy get slapped and laughs at him

Cold flaccid, no heating in this house built for three

No tree to breathe, no infantry or child bearing mother covered in blankets

"She left you"

Pause in the mirror

Turn around to punch the devil, only hit the metal bar that holds the towel 

Bleeding knuckles punch again into the drywall

Left a hole 

"Stupid piece of shit, you can't afford anymore"

Figurative or literal the guttural utterances stumble over the shower curtain and into the tub

"Scrub the sin off" 

Scald the shower on "Hotter than the hell you deserve"

"You filthy perv, chasing after every hourglass curve"

"Every silk skirt, and every woman who would let you put yourself first" 

Grabbed bleach instead of shampoo, ammonia instead of soap

Mixed them both in the water collected 

Lungs infected now with the cloud of mustard 

Flustered, froth and foamy blood curdled forth from within 

"Bask in the sin, and your boiled skin"

"You stupid"

"Piece"

"Of shit"

Wake up in a cold sweat

Walk to the fridge, see all the beers I haven't drank yet

Walk to my daughters room, see her sleeping in the crib

Walk into the bathroom

Pause in the mirror

Say aloud "Maybe you're not a piece of shit yet"

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