The Past

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 21:36 -- aq
I made you my home
and you told me once never to make a person my home
but i could not help it
You were the only one i felt safe with
you were full of life
You enter my world like a ticking bomb
there was no setting you off until you explode
When you enter my life
I wanted to give you every single broken part of me
not so you can solve the puzzle and put it back together 
but so you can see the scars on my heart
So you can see what i have in my heart, and what i've been through
I wanted us to be intertwined together 
not to feel the peek of heaven
but for us to fill empty creases in each other bodies
I want to dissolve into your chest
not to rest my mind 
but to feel your heart beating on my mind 
creating our own rhythm
I want to live under your bed sheets 
not to hide from the outside
but to create our own kingdom
where our memories will live
i wanted you
To be with you
But the thing about time 
is that it isnt real,
There is no then or before
There's just now, like a wheel,
Now is constant but always moving,
And the thing about time,
is that forever is not a measure of time
We could not be together forever
When we found out that we could not have our forever
We stood there
Waiting for our little infity to be over
Waiting for our hearts to collapse
You waited for me
Waited for me to say it
To end it all
I should've said it, all the words that slipt away. 
You just stood there waiting for me to say something, anything would be enough 
but all I said was nothing and all I had was nothing. 
In my head I told you everything, 
how your eyes shine brighter than all the stars in the world put  together, 
how everything reminds me of you
But i couldnt 
and i didnt
I stood there and watch us end
And now every time something from the past pop us 
I see us
the old us sitting,
laughing, in love, 
the way it was supposed to be.
And if i could
i could change the past
Because i cannot see a future
without bumping into the past 
which is what we used to be


Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

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