The self-conflicted--

Us "walking contradictions"--

Acknowledge reasons.

 

But no.

 

Individuals.

We incriminate ourselves.

Live in doll houses.

Forge sob story fairytales.

Competing downfall.

Comparing bigger impacts.

 

It's malfunctional,

Accompanied misery.

And dysfunctional,

Our self-indulged history.

Too relatable,

The mirrored relationships.

 

We need:

 

Backbone, not wishbone.

Standards, not expectations.

 

But no.

 

Our said miracles,

Serve as cosmetics to hide.

These said desires,

Without question to,

Yet lack happiness in life.

 

We envy others,

Seeing their independence.

They envy us,

Our social circle/ support.

 

"How free you must feel."

Inexpressibly empty.

"No one to live for?"

No words, nor commentary.

 

Our Mothers/ Fathers,

Intimidated by thoughts,

To ask for the help,

Yet unwilling to assist.

We do what they please,

To keep our blind connections,

Like it was fine wine,

As if unflawed or refined,

Only approved of,

When it's our behavior,

Reflected well,

But upon our family.

 

So yes.

 

We develop, cope,

In defense or denial,

From mental abuse,

Through the impulse to repeat,

Closely, severely,

Falling prey to emotions,

Feelings not of us,

But resulted distortion.

 

Me too.

 

I learned to endure,

And through the pain to maintain,

Reliving moments,

As an accessory, and

Liability,

Oppressed as decoration,

Like a wall-flower.

 

Here we are again.

Sitting through the silent night.

Looking 'round to sing.

 

This quiet sound, unheard of,

To find what's been lost till found,

And cry unshed tears...

But suns rise for these choices.

So I chose my voice.