Only God Can Judge Me

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 15:05 -- Jakayla

I let my hair down

and it poofed in a matter of seconds

I loved it, my Angela Davis look

But they said no, straighter, longer, lighter

So I covered me with Indian Remy

Still they were not satisfied

My smooth skin

The skin I appreciated because I have never been sun burnt

apparently didn’t function well for them

It needed contouring and highlighting

foundation, concealer, bronzer

Maybe I didn’t shine bright enough

Maybe all my human-like wrongs weren’t right enough

Before I let them mutilate the rest of me

I sat down with the inner me

I said, “I love you

and that’s why you’re getting this advanced apology

I am sorry that I have to conform to the standards of a society

that was built to exploit not love us

Although they say ‘In God we trust’

they cannot be trusted with our greatest parts

They can have my hair, my skin,

but I won’t let them hurt my heart

In there dwells my long dreadlocks,

bare-faced beauty hanging on to Black history

writing poetry and music and novels

Letting our most personal thoughts free

In there thrives an artist that doesn’t toil with organic chemistry

because it is irrelevant to the peace she seeks for her people

But that lady would be ripped and ravaged out here

So to protect you, her, us,

You have to hide.”

When they claim to love me,

my soul cries, “Blasphemy,”

for if they loved me,

they would not criticize every fiber of my being

Why should I be giving of my whole self

after people have tainted fragments

I dared to share?

Why should I pull back the curtain

for any one person when it’s obvious that

they wear a mask for me?

Like a puzzle with pieces scattered around the house

I only give parts of myself to particular people

and it is not until they collaborate

that the true me is revealed

That day will never come

so it shall remain

that only God, the one that knows me internally and entirely

Only God can judge me 



I like that you used your hair--hair is such a strong part of ourselves (or at least I too identify very strongly with my hair.) Nice!

i love this so much! thank you for writing this

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