indecisive

the feeling i get when you walk away

the feeling i get when you say my name

throughout my life i have tried to let go

but this year has got me going psycho

sometimes i wonder can you ever stay gone

then i got my answer in a letter form

a letter you sent but then you went

the bittersweet feeling i got arises

only to find out you were never mine  

i huffed and puffed my tears away

only to figure out what next to say

jealousy was never my enemy

but how can i fear something i’ve never fought

everyone said don't let it get the best of you

they told me to put it to rest

but today i look you in the eye

feeling nothing but regret

i never looked back I never looked behind

how do you change something you never knew you did

how can you change something that has always been within

the past is the past and ill never forget it

thats why i say im glad that i lived it

together forever was never my intention but

i never thought you wouldn't miss it

but there comes a time where weakness comes into play

and thats when i’m more me they say

but i never want to get that attached

I never want anyone to feel like they're trapped

im no crazy indecisive bitch

just a random chick

Once again another situation in my life where I never felt like I was ever good enough

I was never what you wanted

Just something you did to make time fly

something you played with

like the strings on your guitar

making a note that only went so far

i knew you didnt care as much as i did but i still went along with it

thinking that maybe tomorrow will be better maybe it will change

fights circulated our conversations like no other

fights made it easier for you to realize that i was no rose

just an ordinary flower

the end didn't come as a shock but the way you acted

the way you run up amok

never had i ever been so livid

never have i ever lost so much trust

never have i ever felt so used

and i hate to say i love you

when it's so hard for me to chose

and i hate to say i want you

when you make it so clear that you don't want me

id never ask you cause deep down i know what you would say

you'd say “im sorry i love you but not in that way”

and i don't hate myself for feeling this way

i used to be so independent

i used to be so confident

you weren't my fairytale ending not even the book

just a chapter a single name that had me hooked

this year has taught me so many things

and i'm so glad that this is it

6 months

5 mistakes

4 causes

3 situations

2 people

but only one finish

so yes finally i get it

life's shit

Get over it

its time we start loving ourselves anyway!