Oh Mother

If only you knew how it feels when sharpen your knife on the flesh of my heart

If you would hear the silent screams I cry in the midnight

If only you knew that you're not alone in the ship of weary

Oh Mother

If you could only see the scattered decay of what used to be "your little girl"

If you would only realize I've shed the skin of optimism and devoured anew

I've been masked as an aching child who's been used 

Oh Mother 

You try yet you fail

You pray yet you report old habits

Oh Father

If you had only stayed you would love me once again

If you had only stayed I wouldn't be fucked up enough to fall in the blackhole of depression and anxiety

If you had only stayed I would love myself and wouldnt question what's missing

Oh Father 

If you could only see the inflicted cuts upon the arms that once tried to embrace you

Yet you were callous coward 

A callous coward who divided from a wife scorn and 3 children adrift 

Oh but Father 

If you had only stayed the bruises you set upon my infantile flesh would only grow

They'd be the ones devouring me and creating a darker specie that no man could figure

If you had only stayed I would see no God

My Dear Mother and Father

Your lack of knowledge has morphed me into the young woman I am today

Our deaf quarrels

Your coward behavior

They've shown me how to be firm spirited 

To push through every footing and not give into the cunning voice of the mean hearted

And most of all that love should be utterly unconditional 

Love  should bursts through the barriers of the utmost uncomfort 

I despised you so much I learned to love you