The Not so Pretty Story of Snow White

There once was a girl named Snow White

Everyone in the land thought she was the most beautiful and bright

Except for the evil queen, who hated her a ton

So Snow White had to go on the run.

 

Snow White stopped for a drink at a tiny shack

Where she saw dwarfs headed to work at the railroad track

She begged and pleaded for a place to stay

They said if she cooked and cleaned it would be okay.

 

Snow White agreed, knowing she wouldn’t do a chore

So she jumped into bed and she started to snore

The dwarfs thought she was too tired to clean

But little did they know, the pretty princess was spoiled and mean.

 

Day after day, Snow White stayed in bed

And after a while the dwarfs wanted her dead

The dwarfs told the Evil Queen, “Snow White lives in our house”

And they sent her there hoping Snow White would end up as dead as a mouse.

 

The Queen gave Snow White a poisonous apple so red

She knew if she ate it, that she would be dead

Snow White took the apple and then said goodbye

Then she threw the apple, out the window, into the sky.

 

The Queen made pies and cakes trying to put Snow White in danger

But Snow White would never accept food from a stranger

The dwarfs had enough of Snow White

So they came up with an evil plan that night.

 

The next day, Snow White woke up to make a snack

And then the dwarfs all started to attack

Hitting her with instruments, brooms, and a bat

The treated her like they were killing a rat.

 

Then they all fake cried, mourning her death

Covering with roses and baby’s breath

Then they left her in the forest isolated

The most beautiful girl that everyone hated.

 

Then a Prince found her asleep in bliss

And he tried to wake her up with a kiss

When their lips touched Snow White started to yell

“Are you five? You thought kissing a dead girl would break a spell.”

 

The Prince got embarrassed and started to blush

He said he was sorry, and admitted that he had a crush

Realizing he was a prince, Snow White agreed to be his wife

She knew that she could freeload off him for the rest of his life.

 

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