Left alone to night
Wondering what I did
You don't speak to me anymore
I whisper reassurance to myself
Maybe it's just a challenge
Knowing full well you're done
You got what you wanted
I wasn't good enough for you
My eyes water
I tell myself it's because the moon
Is so bright
Tonight
I've gained weight
That's probably why
Your hands touched my sides
And you felt
The fat leaking from my skin
Infecting you.
I cut my hair.
Maybe that was why.
But I did it to impress you.
My jokes are dry
Tasteless
They drop like stones
They don't create color or
The music of laughter.
Could that be why?
Is that the reason you no longer
Hug me as I pass by
Touch my shoulder
Make silly faces in my direction.
Could it be, I didn't let you have enough of me?
Just portions
In tiny doses
But never my heart
Or my head.
Just because you we're second best
It doesn't mean
I didn't love you
Unconditionally
That I didn't
Think of you
59 seconds out of every minute
How can I
make myself appeal to you?
A second chance?
I'll do it right
I'm sorry my mind
Has yet to function
Like a person
But rather I am a robot
Playing the parts
I'm told to play.
By society
When really
It doesn't come naturally
To be like you
to be normal.