You're 14 and anxiously waiting with

your peers at 10:30 in the dark, cold night.

You look up to see the empty gray stage

becoming only a memory.

They fill row upon row

As you sit doubting yourself,

and the smell of a boy's locker room

strangles your nose.

You catch a glance at

the mile long table where

monstrous muscles are

accompanied by faces and feet.

 

Minutes seem to turn into years

questioning everything,

Am I supposed to be here

This can't be real.

 

Paralyzed as you realize what's 

about to happen.

You rise to your feet following 

strangers to the compact muscles, 

guiding people to the table.

 

Looking staright into the souls

that have given you hope,

only three feet in front of you.

You have so muchto say but...

eyes glued to the stains on the floor

you try to make eye contact

but you can't.

As your idol compliments you,

you barely can utter a thank you.

 

Their knuckles white

As they compose something

that looks like a name

then it's gone,

gliding down the table to

the next person.

 

Some things stay with you.

Happiness.

Embarrassment.

All you life, the exact moment you met your inspiration.