Tonight

Getting back from our evening out

laying on his motel bed

I spoke, he spoke

We lay and talk for hours.

A feeling of supreme ease circulated

we intersected at the leg

I, perpendicular,

My calves resting on his thighs.

No distractions,

No obligations,

We simply lay and 

Love and

Speak our minds

Lighthearted and clean.

Our perfect moment

turned suddenly sour

when he, after

conversation turned to humor,

I was called by her name.

"gee, thanks Robyn."

This echoed impossibly,

My name perceptably forgotten,

my smile lost

Light in my eyes now

Faded, tears near replacing it.

He realized the error

Apologized,

Held me for a while.

Tears still came 

As soon as I was sure

He could not see my fear.

"Do you want me or

Do you want her?"

A trembling voice prevents

the firmness of my goal.

"You. Always you."

His surety did true

my underconfidence defeat.

I hurt for the idea

That beyond an affair

They had to have had

moments like that

Humor and closeness

interfering with impersonality

We finished a movie 

And said nothing more.