Dear Dad,

All I ever wanted was to be your little girl...

I yearned for a warm smile and a "No boyfriend til your thirty."

I thought surely you must love me, you helped create me

But I was a creation you tried to destroy

I was a mistake in your eyes...

But I wanted to be you, you were my superhero

But you are no hero...

You took my fragile heart and you smashed it on the pavement

of a broken relationship.

You stole my happiness and filled my empty body

with loneliness...

My eyes never shined as bright as when you made me cry

You stole my trust with all your lies...

I can't trust anyone when they say "I love you"

becasue when you said it, you really meant

"I hate you"

Why can't you love me?

All I wanted was for you to love me.

I did everything you wanted.

I didn't complain when my stomach screamed with agony...

I didn't come home crying to you when the other kids were mean

I didn't bug you...

I loved you, but it was never enough.

You found new reasons to scream at me.

Everything was my fault...

I ignored the pain,

I got used to the continous disapointment my life had become.

I lost faith in God, for what had I done that my own daddy couldn't love me.

Why couldn't I have a daddy like other girls at school?

Their daddy's took them to dances and looked at them like they were their world

Your eyes only held hatred.

I thought when I left,

You'd realize that you needed me.

I thought you'd change and beg for another chance.

But that will never happen, will it dad?

I will never be a daddy's girl

That's okay...

Because I have my faith in God

I stopped thinking "Why me?"

Now it's "Why not me?'

There is pain in everyones heart and I am no exception.

But I've learned to take that pain and the broken pieces of my life

and be better than you.

I will strive.

I will not beg for your love any longer.

You no longer determine my future.

This is a goodbye, forever.

Sincerely,

Sarah M. Sinzheimer