A side of me I do not show

And though I laugh and play and put a smile on everyday

And tell everyone that I am doing okay

It does not mean that I am fine in any way

 

Because it’s a smile that doesn’t fit. It’s loose, it’s tight, it’s wearing through

Leaving blisters that fester and grow, bruises that deepen and blue

But I do not seek medical attention when asked “how do you do”

I simply hide the limp, and reply “I’m good, how are you?”

 

Because I know that when you ask the question you don’t want to hear

My jumbled melody, a malady, a mixture of pain and sorrow that’s poison to the ear

So I sing my song in isolation, when I know nobody is paying attention. Because I fear

That my life song will fall victim once again to the critics who helped make it but want no part in the credit

 

And the worst part is, if you listen, if you truly listen, you can pick out the glisten that is hidden by the crashing cymbals, the beating drums, the untuned guitar. all out of sync.

It is soft but serene.  It is subtle but it is losing steam.

 

Just like that train that thought it could I too thought I could bring this to light

But I forgot that sometimes the light that shines at the end of the tunnel is actually a spotlight

Focusing on hunting you, incarcerating you for your work of madness, just to spite

You for being different from the rest. For you creating a symphony that isn’t right.

 

 

But someday before my masterpiece dies I will share it with the one that can pick it apart

The one that can spy a real work of art and know that I came this far and I’m not going back

Back to the days when I replaced my song with that soundproof smile that covered that track

I can’t wait for the day that my concert plays. And my melody transforms into an awesome array of magical, powerful, overwhelming soundwaves and everyone stands there in awe of my ability to overcome that day that it was drowned out by that array of pain so they will stand in awe, taken aback. 

Until they finally get it, get me, and see all of the beauty that has been hidden for so long in my symphony.  And not knowing what to do they will answer back… with a confused but heartfelt clap.