I dont know where I am or how I got here
This isnt where I expected to be.
My eyes glossy and running along my nose.
A familiar throbbing pain in my stomach.
I close my eyes, and watch as I finally kill myself.
The knife cold against my throat, and suddenly warm as streaks of blood boil upon it.
It pushes deeper into my neck until I collapse, to weak to further weaken myself, and to weak to cry.
The rug stains in red, and blood pollutes the hard wood floor. It seepes into the cupboards. My vision blurs, then my hearing, my hands go numb and everything goes black. A faint whisper of my name calls. After that, all I can here is my pulse drumming to the rhythm of my heartbeat.
My mother's tears were not valued as my own until I were dead. She held my cold and brittle hand in my small casket. She sobbed in front of everyone. As she let go, and the casket closed. It slowly lower into the ground late in the evening when everyone is gone. Soon to be forgotten I will be. I open my eyes with streaks of tears running down my face. A lump in my throat holds in my sobs. Maybe hanging myself with the shower curtain would be easier.