Do you remember that time we fought over

Who would get the last sushi roll,

And I was probably a real jerk to you,

Which was awful at the time,

But might be useful now if

You can think of that instead every time you miss me.

 

And then you’ll be mad instead of lonely, which

Is a much easier emotion to hold,

Because anger rises up and fizzles out and then you forget about it,

And it won’t ever settle in the depths of your stomach

And you won’t have to carry that loneliness around with you every day,

And you won’t feel like you’re about to burst and empty at the same time.

 

Or maybe instead you should think

About every summer we’ve had,

And the times I walked you back to your cabin every Sunday night,

And you would reach out for me even when I knew you weren’t afraid of the dark anymore,

And then I would squeeze your hand and you would squeeze right back,

And it was too dark for anyone else to see how much I love you,

But maybe you felt it, rushing out of my heart and through every part of me,

Whistling in my ears and spilling down my cheeks and

Squeezing out of my hand into yours.

 

But if for some reason, you can’t think about any of those things,

I guess you can miss me.

Just burrow yourself under my covers, turn off the lights,

look up at the stars you helped me hang,

miss me as much as you can for five minutes,

And feel how much I’m missing you too.

And then, when those five minutes are up,

Turn the lights back on,

Smooth down the covers so I don’t get mad at you when I come home,

And then shut my door, and leave all of your loneliness inside.

 

Love, Madi