you’ll never make it there

look where i am now

you won’t be one of them

look who i am now

you can’t ever fit in

never said i wanted to

you should come back

not in a million years.

 

i crawled out of the depths of hell

to be here, for just one chance

braved the lottery and braved the arena

wondering if i’ll survive the trip

 

sailing oceans of doubts following

currents of hope that have no 

beginning but no end either

don’t know where exactly i’m going

but i don’t have to

 

i’ll go where the wind in my sails take me

let myself fall into the arms of nature

stare at the daunting tides, as if saying

i dare you.

 

you can brand me with fear and shame

but i cover it with courage and backbone

for true power comes with drive and will

when you truly believe

i do whatever the hell i want.

 

when i die, i won’t fly your flag

the flag that suffocated and drowned me

that tied me up and shoved me down

i will fly the flag i want and sing the praises i want

you can choke me and slap me and burn me

raise me to a pyre and set me aflame

but you won’t do anything

other than make me a martyr.

crush me with your tanks if i raise my voice

walk over me and trample me with tires

massacre my people and wear their masks

pretend and blame everything on them

but i know it’s you and i know, i know

 

i know you watch me every moment

i know you track my every move

i know you slaughtered my grandfathers

i know you conquered my land

i know you torture my country

i know you pour gasoline on us

i know you silence our words

i know you cross out my name

i know you wrap a noose on my neck

 

believe me, 

i know you know that i know.

 

i’m no hero

and i rescued nobody

 

but i promise to those i left behind

i will be back.

 

i once stood silent but that’s a part of the past

i picked up a pen and sat down on my chair

took out a notebook and closed my eyes

put in headphones and remembered.

 

the fire at my feet, dancing around like fairies

then turning into beasts that tore at my flesh

the lightning through my body making me shake

until i was fried inside out and nothing was left

the water sliding down my face, slowly, slowly

dripping until i gradually went insane

the bullet in my chest, burning more than the fire did

tunneling itself deeper and deeper

the sound of razors forced upon my head

taking my hair, and my freedom with it

 

to my people, i promise you:

I will never forget. I will never forgive.