I know who I am

I know who you are

But it’s hard to pinpoint what the influential point was

Was it when I realized that you are just as anxious as me?

Or how about when I realized how mental illness has wrecked your brain?

Or when I found you passed out again?

Maybe it's a culmination of these

These individual moments that culminated to create me.

Maybe it’s my fear that you’ll never get better.

Maybe it’s my anger at you for not being better.

Or maybe it’s just my hope that no one else will feel this pain

And my contradictory hope that someone else would please God, please, understand.

My catch twenty two that begs for someone to relate

And needs for no one in the world to ever have to hurt.

Perhaps all the hurt and anxiety were what taught me.

As I look at how everyone else in the world is acting,

I think surely what you’ve done has made me wiser than them.

So while I hurt from all that you’ve done,

Watching my father deal with so many mental battles,

Has also let me learn more than anyone else could without them.