No escape, my past always follows me

Every part of me I hate always seems to acknowlage me

As soon as people realize my weakness, they strike

I just want to cry and fall apart, your broken dice

Cant roll anything lucky, I'm stuck with your fate

Of all the people I've known, it's myself that I hate

I have never hated anyone else, For they chose how they would live

But of all the people I seem to forget, myself I cant seem to forgive

I am the reason they would say all these things

Other people see it too, they just do not bring

Attention to the idiot that everyone sees

A battle I have prayed for, fell on my knees

In hopes that I just wasnt alone

That someone else was a freak, and didnt want to be home

I just wanted to sit there and rot on my floor

Like every blood stained towel that was made behind the door

I didn't want to fit in, I wanted to be me

Why was that so hard for everyone to see

So I'm stupid or a fag just because I am not you

That I dont conform so these unwritten societal rules?

Every societal rule is written!

The ones that are not, ARE CALLED OPINIONS

Personal preference, against any small differnce

Well dont I feel just abandoned and frivolous

And useless and dumb and stupid and gay

OR am I not, but you just say it every day?

And in that case, what is your reason to hate me so much?

You cant just live with hating yourself so you hate me and such

So you cant handle yourself so you make others feel the same

So integrate me with another name

That is not my own, but a teasing reminder

That the people who repeat it couldnt seem to be kinder

And that is what I become known as in life

Tell that to my arm, or my blood or the knife

Because they are a tem to tease you with my scars

I hope the fact that I am gone helps you notice yours

The scars on your heart you take out on everyone else

Theres a reason I am dead, and its not due to my health!

You were my hazard, my nightmare, my killer!

Because in every crevas of my mind your words were space fillers

Leading me to believe you, then hating myself

I never had money, my tears were my wealth

As soon they were gone, all into my sleeves

until I could cry no longer, because I believed!!!

I believed you, every time you called me a name

This deprssion I had I hope you dont feel the same...

No matter how much I dislike you,I would never wish the feelings I had

Onto another human being, but my blood is on your hand!

I don want you to feel like me, but I want you to feel

That every time said something, that pain was REAL!!

As real as the razor that I would use to bleed!

As real as the fact that a friend is what I needed!

As real as the well drink I salute to my blade so dull

The blade didnt work...But you know what did? A bullet in my skull...

I hope you feel happy! I hope you feel proud!

I hope tears you cry for me are Loud!

This is what you did! This is your creation!

You created death, and took me out of this equation.

So now my life is cut short, cut with the blade that cuts me

So I hope my cries echo in your head, in your dreams!

I hope you never forget that you made me hate who I was!

I hope this haunts you for life, like right now it does!

But no matter how much you did, and how much I dont get to live through

When I died,I thought it was my fault, and somehow forgive you

It was in the note I left on the table

I still will never know how I was able

But my proof is the razor, on my bookshelf

It still has my blood, because I never could forgive myself...

 

Keep fighting through

If you only knew

what the future holds for you

These bullies dont matter

Dont let your heart shatter

Dpnt be any sadder

He wont be around your whole life, and then you will see

That you were lucky you didnt follow me

Live...And believe in yourself

And everything will be okay...