Dear Adrian,

Yet again you have taken my thoughts and left me with nothing but you.

You have corrupted me with your intrusion but blessed me with your presence.

Yet again I’m left with loneliness with you here, right next to me feeding my insecurities as you choke on yours.

Yet again. You make me forget in the most innocent of ways. The words are kissed from my lips and the pain is taken into your arms as you hold me. I fall deeper into the depts of your treachery. Distorting my thoughts and turning them into scrambled words of confusion but I still try to function, I still try to make sense of this mess and yet again I fall into the deep depts of your misery.

I crumble and hold you together. I place my heart in your chest to sit beside yours, leaving my brain to do nothing but contemplate what to do with the hole left behind so it can give you more. I want to give you more, I have to.

I wanted to cry today and for once, it wasn’t your fault. The music opened my eyes and the truth hurt. There is so much hidden from me beneath layers of secrecy, deceit, and pain. My history is missing, and I can’t find it. There’s a part f me in the tapestries of the universe that is writhing in the clutches of misery that I crave to know. It’s a part of me that is right there but there are hundreds of years behind me, but it is right here before everyone.

Adrian, you are not only my pain or the emptiness I feel. You are the smile on my face and the answer t my happiness. You are the feeling of contentment and a love purer than the hearts of the innocent.

I want to cry again Adrian but this time it is because I feel.

Love,

Ebony