My Guardian Angel
My thoughts continuously haunt me;
They crowd and engulf me,
Coaxing me to succumb to them,
Disguising their vile motives in illusions of happiness,
And telling me to ignore everyone but them.
I almost listen to their demands-
Every sleepless night I almost give in.
I hear their menacing voices defeating me;
I feel my armor being shattered
As they fill me with self-loathing.
It’s my pity state that fuels them,
My insecurities that encourage them
To wreak havoc in my sanity.
They know they’re winning,
And they praise themselves for their monstrous deeds.
But what they fail to realize,
Is the great strength that comes from unbounded love.
The presence of another being to lean on,
Another mind to share even the most atrocious things with,
Another voice to hear other than their degrading ones,
And someone to keep me from drowning in my own mind
Are the priceless gifts you have selflessly given me.
Those thoughts do not understand that their heinousness could never
Compare to this constant compassion you have bestowed upon me.
It’s the perseverance that you have,
The willingness to care for me,
The desire to ensure I am content,
That warms me to the very core of being.
I hear your voice overpowering the hatred;
Its angelic and calming sound soothes me.
The chills on my spine and fear in my bones subside from the warmth in your smile,
And your loving embrace breaks me away from the imminent dangers they provoke.
I breathe in the lavender aroma from your freshly laundered clothes
And am no longer suffocating in toxic fumes.
Because of you I am whole again; I am myself again.
I am not controlled by an invading darkness,
But am someone who has found a purpose within herself.
Without you I would still be confined to rage,
Continuing to run from myself.
You guided me from that horrid path,
And thus are my reason for staying.
Your love radiates off of you
And captivates me.
You have given me life;
You have given me hope.
And you have been the light
That has saved me from my own ruin.