For the time I scraped my knee
And all you could say was 
"Fix yourself, you did it, not me" 
When I was just 3

For when I felt alone
And you said "go away" 
"Shut up and pray" 
"Go to bed" 
Or my favorite
"It's all in your head"

For when you saw my scars
And looked at me like I was from Mars
And you said you'd kick my ass
If that phase' would last

For when you told me I wasn't good enough
Or smart enough
Or girly enough
Or tough enough

For when you told me I was fat
So I stopped eating
Wishing I could stop breathing

But then you told me I was too thin
So I stopped trying to win

For when you hated my best friend
The only person with which I didn't have to pretend

For making me feel like I only sometimes had a father
But mostly 
I had a monster
Living across the hall from me
Ready to strike when he didn't like the real me

For making me hide the only person that's cared
The one that helped me save me

For making me hide my girlfriend
'Cause I'm only allowed to date men

For telling me to be girly
That my goals are sky high 
And outright silly

For telling me that I was only sometimes pretty
But never smart

For hating my guitar 
My outlet 
My art

For making me feel so damn small
When I just wanted acceptance from you all

For the times my brothers called me a dyke
Not realizing they were half right

For when my brothers excluded me
With the justification that 
"It's just a boy thing"

For when you all made me feel like I didn't have a family

For when I wore a fake smile
All the while wanting to die

For when I told myself to fight
Even when I had to lie 
To myself

Convincing myself that 
"I'll be worth something someday"
Or that the lyrics I used to scream for help could one day dig me out of this depression

For a the times I felt like I only had myself

It's time for me to stand and fight
Instead of crying silent tears at night

Instead of letting you perpetuate my depression
Instead if letting you keep me 
From getting help for my anxiety

It's time to make it worth the war
To see a victorious me

And when I get that trophy
For winning the game of life

You won't even be allowed to stand at the sidelines