Dear Lost Love,
 
I am starting with the fact I am sorry for my past behaviors.
For some time, I lost myself and god my savior.
I realize the way I acted was not right;
I lost all goals and insight.
I chose corruption and decided to no longer fight.
With the weight bearing on my shoulders;
I found it difficult to be a soldier.
Though time has now passed and what we had is truly over;
I need to write for full disclosure.
 
I am sorry you lost your best friend.
Singlehandedly, I drove us to our descend.
I know god has a plan;
Though seems difficult to understand.
We were not meant to work.
Regardless; I apologize for causing hurt.
In my spirit I became lost;
My decisions came at cost.
This letter is not an excuse;
To make me feel better about my behaviors and drug misuse.
Baring heavy pain in my soul;
Time has come to fill the hole.
I need to grow.
Before the path I lead heads six feet below.
Please know I am sorry James;
For throwing what we had into flames.
I am most of the blame for what happened to us.
By becoming lost in drugs and causing mistrust.
 
Before I depart, I  want to acknowledge some things you had done.
When my world was dark; you brought my life sun.
Even on my darkest days;
You never strayed.
I became difficult to deal with.
Even then, you looked at me as if I were one of gods gifts.
Please know my heart bleeds true….
I sincerely love you.
You rose me up; made me feel beautiful and gave me confidence.
You helped me commence. 
There is so much more I wish I could say.
But that would not be fair to your new love; I will hold those thoughts and feelings at bay.
Do know I am happy for you.
Your true happiness was overdue.
 
I am sorry; so much I wish I could change.
Primarily the fact I caused our love to estrange.
 
 Love,
Your lost but not forgotten love.

-C. Jackson
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