My stomache writhed and crawled

as if it was a snake

my thoughts swirled and twirled

as I lay awake

the shakes moved through my body

I closed my eyes and breathed

unsure of what would happen next

not sure if I would heave

I tried to focus on something

on anything but those thoughts

that wrapped their way inside my mind

and stayed and spoiled and rot

no matter what I did

no matter where I went

the thoughts were always there

over-used, over-thought, over-spent

daylight made it better

but I only learned to fear

the moment the sun slipped down

and darkness came to leer

I had to find control

I had to find a grasp

I couldn't keep up

with this 24/7 relapse

I'd lost so much sleep

I couldn't lose more weight

except the chains around my mind

that I didn't completely hate

I prayed and prayed

but nothing changed

but I chose to make it good

and slowly rearranged

I faced my fear

-that anxiety and angst-

I stood my ground

with a slow but steady haste

that fear of fear still chases me

but I learned to run faster

it can't keep its gip on me

since I have become its master.