i tried to love you the way any daughter would

i tried to do everything

talk

yell

argue

counsel

hug

fake smile

 

talk 

yell

argue

counsel

hug

fake smile

 

when i was young my biggest fear was becoming someone who i wasn’t meant to be

now my biggest fear is

 

you 

it now revolves around how you will treat me 

and what new lies you have spread

my biggest fear is 

 

you 

trying to reenter my life when you have not deserved it 

you have not been there

you were a good time parent

the one who hated when i spoke my mind

the one who told me 

if i 

ever 

said your house was unstable i could

 

leave 

and never come back 

that was when i realized i do not have to give you 

the power

to control how i feel or what i should think or say

i will not let you take 

away my 

 

 

pain

you caused me pain in the way no one should have to 

experience 

mentally

verbally

cry

yell

scream

 

hate

i learned to hate you for putting me through hell

but you also taught me 

 

love 

for myself

you taught me i do not have to put up with 

anyones bullshit

my only enemy is me

not you 

or the boogie man

you don’t get to destroy my 

 

mental health 

anymore 

this year is for me 

this year is not for fear

this year is not for letting you be my inner demon

 

i tried to love you like any daughter would

but then i realized you were incapable of 

loving me the way any mother would

you were incapable of being a mother period