Surrounded by loved ones,

Numbness sets in and your body shuts down.

Your mind races at a million miles an hour.

In that instant it all hits you…

All the good memories and all the bad memories.

 

First day of school, first job,

First kiss, first car,

Marriage, and the birth of your children.

A beautiful little girl, and a boy chipped straight off the block,

All those firsts, and all the things you taught your kids,

Riding bikes, boxing, and algebra.

 

Unable to torque his head, he glances around the room.

Three women, two twins separated by twenty years.

The other, dressed in white and blue like an episode of Scrubs.

The machine to his left beeps slow and steady like a dripping faucet.

 

You think about your relationships:

A bastard father that abandoned you and your mother,

Your mother’s bitterness that echoes inside you

A wife you argue with day in and day out

And an acorn for a daughter.

 

The nurse leaves and in comes a man no older than 40 holding a clipboard.

He turns to the weeping twins and says

“You’re going to want your affairs in order, I’m very sorry.”

To their left is an empty chair the unforgiving plastic casing surrounding the metal frame.

 

Reflected on all the things you could have done differently.

Your parents passed and the last thing you said was “I hate you!”

You’ve had 43 cars… don’t they all run the same?

After 62 jobs maybe you’d find one you liked.

Were the drunken Christmas parties and petty bar fights worth it?

Shouldn’t you have spent more time with us, your family?

 

The clock taunts him and if the IV in his left arm wasn’t there he’d rip it off the wall.

Between long relentless gaps of silence an occasional beep temporarily relieves the silence.

The older twin turns off the television in the corner.

 

What good does it do you now?

Wishing you had told your parents you loved them.

Hoping you could hold your dogs one more time.

Praying to read one more bible verse.

 

 

As the faucet is tightened the beeping’s corresponding lines becoming flat

Both facing him “I love you dad,” says the younger twin.

“I’ll see you soon,” says the other, then turns away “We need to call your brother again”

The room falls quiet as tears fall from the ladies faces,

Outside the door stands the nurse peeking through the doors window like a trained spy.

 

In the end you had only one regret,

That I was not there to say good-bye.

Perhaps this is what it is like to pass from one world to the next,

Or perhaps it is only what I had saw of myself

In my father’s once blue eyes, now cloudy and grey.