I am a giant that lives up in the sky

You'd think that I'd have few visitors, because I am up so high.

Unfortunately, there is a certain little guy

Who keeps stealing my stuff, and I don't know why.

 

The first time I encountered him, I heard a scream from my spouse

My first guess was that she had seen a mouse.

But I saw a little man scramble out of the pocket of her blouse

And with a tiny cloth bag under his arm he ran out of the house.

 

Every time he'd come, I'd say something like, "Oh please come back,"

Could you please tell me what's in the sack?

Were you just hungry and in need of a snack?

Please tell me!  I'm not amused, Jack!"

 

All I want to do is have a nice talk.

But then he descends down his beanstalk.

Whenever I think of going down to follow him, I balk.

I know that it would probably tip over with the slightest knock.

 

I don't know why he runs whenever he sees me.

Is it guilt?  Is it fear?  Is it my abnormally bad acne?

He could be driven by desperation as far as I can see.

I'd just wish he'd talk it out over a cup of tea.

 

He honestly doesn't have to steal everything he sees.

Especially not my ham, my eggs, or my expensive cheese.

He doesn't have to fear me, I am perfectly at ease

To give whatever he needs, as long as he says, "please".