Sometimes fear gets the best of me

Expecting the unexpected is hard

And it’s hard to speak out about it

Like I’m hanging from a noose on a tree

Plot twist:

The chair is still underneath me

 

I have the power and the ability to set myself free

But there’s always that possibility that the noose just keeps getting tighter

And the captivating sense of vulnerability grabs ahold of me

 

It just never fails

Fear is the only thing that seems to never want to leave

It bounds me down, restricts my desire to want to walk out

Because it’s the only thing that I know will stay, without a doubt

 

In my mind I can’t find a sense of peace

To quiet the thoughts that overbear the happiness in me

I want to love with my whole heart

But yet fear has it guarded

With brick walls and chain locked doors that takes time and persistence to get through

Fear makes me question who is truly willing to hit that target?

 

I shake in my sleep because my thoughts never cease

Seldomly I question whether the decisions I mindlessly make are truly right for me

I’m use to hurt

I’m use to pain

I’m use to toughening myself

But yet I’m still that same little girl

 

Crying desperately for love and help

 

-Geovanni