I wake up

and my body is clay

 

Cetrizine to empty my nose.

Alprazolam to empty my head.

Caffeine to make my blood run.

Nicotine to make me look calm.

 

I wake up 

and my muscles seep slowly through space 

like clay.

 

Lexapro to keep my head desiring.

Lexapro to keep my head in one place.

 

My veins are pierced

once every month.

Sometimes by women in white robes.

Sometimes by men in black cloaks.

 

You help me survive.

You help me behave.

You help me not to cave 

in to my deaths.

 

If I were to die in islands,

I’d bring you in your bottle

and shake you for entertainment.