Maybe someday they will call me as I am

Maybe someday I will be seen as a man

Maybe someday I will have the physique I've been working towards

Maybe someday I'll be able to leave it behind and move forwards

Maybe someday the toxicity will stop

Maybe someday I won't put myself at the bottom and others on top

Maybe someday I will figure out who I want to be

Maybe someday I will finally feel free

Maybe someday I will know how to fully have independence

Maybe someday I will find someone who I will have that correspondence with

Maybe someday I won't feel like life is such a drag

Maybe someday I won't feel like it takes me through the wind without control like a plastic bag

Maybe someday I will feel like I deserve all those good friends

Maybe someday the "maybe somedays" will end.

 

"Someday" is such an empty word

Like the emptiness I feel when I am not heard

Like the punch I feel when I am misgendered

Another hit from the memories I remembered

Which I wish I could leave behind

Like the friends that made me feel confined to a straight line

Leaving a bitter sweet taste because those memories started good and ended badly

But that doesn't matter because I left happy.

 

"Someday" is such an empty word

Like the "I am trying" and "I am still getting used to it" it just feels absurd

"Maybe someday" is having hope but it feels damaging

Like the longing for that person to come back which can feel paralyzing

"Maybe someday" is letting time pass by

Growing older unchanging and never learning to fly.

 

"Maybe someday" should be "today," but sometimes "today" is just another day that has come and has not stayed.