I don't know where I'm going, I don't know where I'm headed,

As I'm watching my life pass me by, with all the time I've dreaded,

It wasn't a waste of time, and not one moment  I feel regretted,

I wouldn't be saying it if it wasn't true, but it is, I said it,

Depression went flying at me, ran the red light, dished the intersection,

Collided into me, and died at the scene, then missed the ressurrection,

Like the DEVIL LIVED, went out on a limb, then twisted the connection,

I'm grateful for everything I have but unsure why I'm in this dimension,

I try to stay positive when it all comes down to it, but what for? 

Having so many knots in my nervous stomach, it made my gut roar,

Hands over my head gasping for air, mind's asking if I want war,

Sick of all the stress that's making my blood pressure go up more,

Bottled up everything to the point where I'm about to explode,

People knew I needed help, they knew it back from the get go,

It feels like I'm alone in this world, Other's wouldn't ever know,

How I feel, like beating on piano keys trying to find that clever note,

Been in mental and emotional pain for many years, I just never spoke,

Nor opened up to my Nana's passing or my Mothers'  cancer diagnosis,

Asking myself questions and trying to find the best answer, like I wrote this,

I have a hard time sleeping so I'm up and roaming around the late nights,

Feel like the world is my audience, I'm starting to develop stage fright,

I wanted to follow my dreams, so I jumped out of a plane for a great height,

It's hard to explain, but I keep having flashbacks when I was just yay high,

It's hard losing someone unexpectedly, wanting to go back in time to say bye,

I remember the other night I was watching Nelly,  he spoke about his life,

When I heard that his sister passed away from cancer, I broke down and cried,

Because I always try to step into their shoes, to see their view to understand why,

How they have strength to overcome any obstacle, when I can barely withstand mine,