Mama was right, she always had been

Even though she never truly understood, never have been so keen

But she knew that one way or another you`ll mess up.

You got your back against a wall, trying to make it look like you can stand tall and forcing yourself to recall and reminisce the good moments you once had.

The ones that had you looking so radiant under the light. But they never saw that the light was sucking away all the nature out of you. That the light was taking your breath away, like a fish out of water. That the light caused you submerging in your own tears. That the light was what blinded you. That the light was you trying not to be you.

Cause mama was right.

She said do good in school, only to leave out the details that she would stop doing well in mothering. Because you go from best friends back to mother and slaughter. From laughter back to hatred and regret. From loving you, back to ignoring you. But she was right. Because you went from being smart, to planning out how to pay for your own college tuition.

But mama was right

She said don’t let go, and don’t give in, but you did and when you stopped being a pussy, he walked away. Just like daddy did. Because they call you daddy`s little girl, only if they knew that I`m his cover up, to make himself feel better and less wrong. But daddy was wrong. When he cheated he was wrong. When he came back he was wrong. And when he said that you annihilated all love for him he was wrong. You say you forgive him and that you don`t care, but you`re just too indolent to fight against it. Because the world had left you lethargic, and weak. Because tears are weakest right? Well in that case you`re stoic. Cause you`ve never let them see. Or never let yourself be. Because Josee was never enough, and Josee was never tough. But Josee is always, always, and always will be weak and frail.

Mama is always right

Because it`s always something. you know there`s always something. Around the corner there`s always something waiting for you. You can`t hold their hands back. You can`t never get out of track. Because there`s always someone waiting to watch you fall down on your back. Because you`ll entertain everyone around you. And make everyone laugh excluding yourself. And mama will stay pointing and looking back at you.

Cause mama was right

She said don`t get your hopes up, and you did. You told your entire world about it and you stayed up gloating about it. Telling others that if it could happen to you well it can happen to anyone. But Josee was wrong and Mama was right. Because when you finally got excited, it got taken away from you. And you were mad at everyone and everything. But it was gone and he lost interest. Because you finally stopped listening to mama`s voice in your head telling you not to get your hopes up.

Because the word sorry itself is never really sorry, and no matter the numerous and countless times it had been said, the only person ever truly sorry is yourself.  Because it was yourself that gave in. it was yourself that let go. It was yourself that got weak. And it was yourself that got excited. Because it was yourself that seems to always disremember that…

Mama is always right.

She said not to dream. Because just like you put on a smile to avoid the interrogation, dreams puts on a temporary hope to try and hide away the failures to come. So tonight you`ll have a dream and try to find your face again. And wake up only to discover that rain don`t wash away the pain.

So know that mama was right

She said believed in something and you tried, only to find yourself lost in your own thoughts. Because now you don`t know who to trust, who to believe, or who to love. Because feelings hurt. They always seem to leave a scar, and a bodyguard paid by a deathless death. And sorrow imprinted on your heart leaving others feeling pity for you.

Mama will always be right

She always has been. She told me to cherish my friends and I did. She told that love will come, and it will. She said not to give up and you won`t. Mama has always been that voice in my head. Mama told me to have faith and we`re holding on. Now mama learned that tears are not always weakness and she`s working on that.