This self-destructive history is repeating,

The emotions, the neverending torture,

The road to happiness that’s covered with IED’s.

The road I’ve walked before appears again,

I know what lies along it, the pain it carries,

Yet I’ve never reached the end, not ready to walk it again

Despite the devastation awaiting me,

My heart is yearning, reaching out for love,

Even though my soul is never ready for the inevitable demise.

Whether to deny my heart’s only desire,

Or to indulge in it completely,

An impossible choice, with the only result being agony.

I live with no more “What If?”’s,

But when two appear, conflicting in nature,

How can I possibly decide which to walk?

I’ve followed my heart before, unable to resist it,

Walking only to discover what happens when someone salted and barren

Is devastated and torn into pieces yet again.