The only thing that keeps me alive is my kids 

The ones I plan on birthing

And my family bc I know that they love me

They love me so much they’d give up everything they had to make sure I was okay

And my friends 

My dear friends

They just suffered a loss

And I don’t want to add on to their burdens

Their love keeps me alive 

It hugs me tighter

Than the handmade noose waiting for me on the ceil fan

And it pulls me harder 

Than my finger on the trigger of the gun

So I fight harder than any bath water that tries to swallow me up

Because the love keeps me alive.