She lies in the dark

scared to be alone with her thoughts for even a moment

that they might overtake her 

or that they'd swallow her whole 

as if she'd never see the light of  day again

at least that's how she felt 

the tears rush from her eyes 

begin to cloud her vision 

as she struggles to gasp for air 

lungs tight and stomach small 

she stands in the mirror 

taking in every feature 

every curve and every scar

telling her a story

she tries to think of something to say 

her mind's away 

she just wants it all to go away 

but it's not that easy 

she never not once imagined that 

she'd be in this position 

that everything that is 

is not as it was 

that she'd wish she could disappear of the face of the earth 

and have no one look for her

that she'd be on her knees begging god to grant her his salavation 

to have his healing power and mercy wash over her 

to make her clean 

a new creation 

to breathe into her soul