I’m lost confused and all aspects of 

romance, work, school and my mental health.. its all a big fucked up blur

my heart is unsure and my head is unstable

and where I go from here i have no clue

 

I love him I do but... I cant be with him right now and he dosn’t understand 

but i cant hurt him and i cant leave.. its May all over again..

Im risking a friendship I cant stand to loose but Im not sure The relationship is even something i can fix right now .. I’m just...

Im stuck.. just stuck and theres nothing I can do but stay

Stay and wonder how it would be if I left

if I left and started over and ... but where you I be

In 2 complicated situations at the same time, possibly wondering why I even left

Wishing to go back but knowing I cant

 

I mean where do I go, Do i turn around or keep going?

Do I hurt him just to hurt myself or do I just hurt myself?

Do I take a chance with this big question mark or an even bigger question mark that used to be something more?

Do I... I mean... Should I..... Im thinking too much and thats never good..

 

You have these problems still overbearing you

when will you be ready... when will I?

oh finally we are here but it all coming back to me as Deja vu 

Omg how you look at me just makes me weak in happiness 

no no i cant... its to risky and what if .. what if I was just here when no one else was..

maybe this was never more then just what my heart wants me to think

its all a blur and i want to just see you clearly and ...

 

and what.. kiss ... yes that the only thing I’m sure i want is that one thing that really make it all fade into a sweet symphony 

 

and now here we are back... Deja vu 

I just want... a decision.... motivation but where is it

where is the road map through this maze called life 

ohh I’m so far from where i started... but..

 

how can i even begin to fix what i fucked up and simpleminded things I started

 if I’m not ok.. I’m not ok.. im not ok .. ok