Do you ever get the feeling that maybe one person out of the many that surround you could understand you I feel that way sometimes and then I remember that I am crazy and nuts and while living my life I’ve lost the meaning of who I am I open up to no one and although some people think they know me and all of me They really don’t The events that happen in my life remind me of a song that I once heard “it’s so easy to lose all the meaning of who you are” “Everything you ever wanted got you ever wanted got you tied up in chains be careful how you play the game” “If you lose your soul then you lose it all “ This verse reminds me of how I have lost myself in everything that I do I have become dead to those around me and to myself Some days I can’t even begin to dream about what I feel because I never have the chance to sit down and think and just breathe So I have these moments where I feel that the world is caving in on me and that I am spiraling out of control And then I play the blaming game I blame my friends and my family and school for making me the way I am But I also blame myself I take full responsibility for my thoughts and my actions and I realize that all of it is my fault. “The same ones that love you are the same ones that shun you “ “The same ones that praise you are the same ones that hate you “ “Funny how it all goes around” The worst part isn’t even playing pretend that everything is ok and putting on a smile that seems believable The worst part is that no matter how many hints you drop… No matter how much pain is in your eyes… No matter how you wish that someone would realize that something was wrong… They never do ……. “You say its fine but deep inside you wish you could escape “ “If you’re at the top then brace for the fall “ This verse reminds me of everyone who puts me at the top of something and then I have to brace myself for what comes out of being at the top Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s bad I don’t think others realize the pressure of being at the top and it makes me feel as if I have to live up to expectations of everyone that is around me I have been so worried about living up to others expectations that I forgot to live up to mine first “Keep on crying out don’t let me hit the ground “ “Your soul is crying out don’t let me hit the ground “ This used to be me I have finally figured out that in order to get back to the real me I have to take a step back and evaluate. Evaluate my life and my friends, Evaluate my happiness I have learned some things about others and myself now I know who I am and now that I know that I can finally breath Its as if my vision has been cleared and I am seeing everything perfectly for the first time in a long time It wasn’t easy getting to where I am today but the girl that I am now is incredible and I fought to become her I don’t regret anything that I have done in the past Whether it was wrong or right it helped shaped me into the young woman that stands before you right at this very moment Now I know that my fight is not over and I will change in many ways as I grow older but I have made a promise to myself that I will never ever lose myself in the madness of things ever again Lyrics used: Funny by Tori Kelly