My Life is nothing more, but complete sadness the biggest disaster just waiting for me to fall down once again into the hands of the earth that has never loved me as the earth surface starts to crack open and drags me down to the center of the world where then i burn out of existence. I then ask myself why am i here was i meant to die before seeing the light. whats the point of my existence whats the point of my life do i have a meaning or not am i nothing more then trash washing away from the shore or like a desserted house waiting for the warmth and liveliness of a new family all i am is a stitched up doll who isn't wanted no more i'm all patched up from old clothes and rags. I am that one toy you have abandoned in the attic waiting for the warmth of that one person they saw to grow, but now is rotting away from all the rain falling from the ceiling of the attic. I am a glass doll so hollow within i am like the coldness of a long winter day nothing to spare, but just misery and forgotten memory. I am a lost child amongst the ruins and my soul isn't pure the marks on my body and skin can prove the horrific ways of life when that one beating heart no longer beats it just dies within and that everyday wake from a cold and twisting dream. 

I try to see the light within all the darkness, but out in the world the reality hurts ten times worse as i wake up to go to school, limping my way to the bus at 6:00AM. My Legs no longer work the same they desserted me along within the rest of my body. I try to act like there is nothing wrong, but once i slow down thats when i would need help all the bruises and scars are another way of saying i'm fine. I'm just no longer what i used to be nineteen in age, but rustier then an old pick up truck. I have an old soul with nothing more then memories and dreams of what could have been. I seem older then the old Yeller book a story so sad, but remarkable is this truly what i choosed to be or should i die with a sin for choosing to end my life. As i remember why and remember how life was i look around with whom i choosed to keep around i remember of my Nikki and few friends and a few exs i swear to have loved, but i look back outside with the thought that one day i will say goodbye, but for now i'll be there for those who choose to be with me through it all 'till the day i parish. 

I ask those around to never be frighten of life stay strong and smile as bright remember life is hard, but those who choose to be strong soon are long to be forgotten. We are people we have weak minds once you push yourself things will get better.