Time is flying and yet I am still the same as before or so I thought

I want to give up,
I am tired and exhausted
I want to give up
I want to cry but instead I smile
I am desperately waiting for the right time to come for me but when is the right time
It has been too long since I dare question my own life and who my truely friends are

I wish to ignore all this yet it  linger still in my head
I want to give up
Can I really push through the day or will I just become the wind and the dust in a thin air
Should I move forward or should I stop my time

I am tired 
I want to live
I want to dream and I want to fly
Stop holding me back
Please Let me go and let me fly to the light
I want to give up but God is not done with me yet, 

I will fly forward to the light and see what God has plan for me
But for now  I will rest here, it has been a long day

-Mang