The Little Things: A List of Tiny Spiteful Wishes
I hope your hair looks bad in every picture.
I hope you overcook your breakfast.
I hope your left eye always itches while you're wearing contacts.
I hope the internet sucks whenever you're trying to watch a video.
I hope you try to drink your tea before it's cool enough.
I hope you don't notice you're out of toilet paper until you're already sitting on the can.
I hope the cat steps on the TV remote right before a dramatic plot reveal.
I hope you don't notice your shirt has a stain until you're already out of the house.
I hope you lose just one earring.
I hope your favorite shirt shrinks in the wash.
I hope a fly keeps buzzing in your ear, but you never catch it.
I hope you take a huge bite of food and discover that it's gone bad.
I hope you get your least favorite song stuck in your head.
I hope your computer crashes while your writing an important document and you didn't press "save."
I hope it's always too hot or too cold in your bedroom.
I hope you forget you bought ice cream and it melts in the back of your car.
I hope you get stuck driving behind a really slow car with no way around it.
I hope your shower runs cold while you have shampoo in your hair.
I hope your bookmark falls out and you don't remember where you left off.
I hope you develop an allergy to your favorite food.
I hope you accidentally put salt in your tea.
I hope you pick up your bag the wrong way and everything falls out.
I hope everything goes wrong in insignificant ways.
I hope you're never able to enjoy
The Little Things.