Lilo

Dillion White

 

Imma southern boy, what makes you think imma sit here in a cona? I’m from the south. We don’t shiver and die! My love reaches as far as the moon, as deep at the ocean. My heart strings are as thick my bones, I give my all to my lova. And he does not give me a thang!

I was often told that I had eyes that could see the stars before they hit the night sky. I was often told that I had a body so wild if you stood too close, you could catch motion sickness. I was often told that my language was so quick it made the roadrunner look standoffish. And I was often told that my words were so hard it could break the brick that surrounded my walls.

 

I started my life off with a silver butter knife, none of the fancy thangs those rich folks had. Me, I had to work fo it. What makes you think I would beg? I pulled myself up by the daisy dukes and got to workin! Imma southern boy, we neva run and tell. You won’t ever see us sweat! You might as well give me a peach cause I love me some fancy thangs. Yea, I’m materialistic, I deserve to be. You can call me a diva all you want, but I’m gonna be at the pinnacle. Being at the bottom makes you claw yo way to the top. I deserve all the good things coming to me, I worked too damn hard to see anything otherwise. Now, what makes you think I shouldn’t!? I see you there, smirking at the gay boy up here preaching! I’m a southern boy and you me, are gonna love me. Y'all all gonna be loving me!

 

But nothing could prepare me for Lilo. Lilo, a lover who I made too much room fo. Lilo was a lova who made the world seem so immense.  He was the type of dude who would leave the sheets in distress. Even though I knew he did not love me I still tried.

 

You see that I don’t either. I should have a stone on my finga. The one that reflects on the light, oooo, the one that shines so ever bright! A diamond, a stone that is unbreakable through thick and thin! But, Lilo does not believe in marriage! But Imma a southern boy, I don’t got time to hide and cry. What makes you think imma sit here in a cona, I’m from the south. We don’t shiver and die! My love reaches as far as the moon, as deep at the ocean. My heart strings are as thick my bones, I give my all to my lova. And he does not give me a thang!

 

Lilo knew he had this effect on me. So he decided, why not go a little further. He was my drug, and I loved it. I was addicted and he used it. He used my eyes to see the feds before they came. He used my body to sell his product. He used my quick language to do quick jobs. And he used my hard mouth as a punching bag. Slapped me around like a dog like heat, he knew that I was a southern boy! And I was not gonna sit there and allow him to do such a thang to me!

 

And through it all, I still loved him. I loved him because he made the world seem so immense and… and he left the sheets in distress. I was so blinded by this, that I did not see what was killing me. A poison that was slowly taking me to my grave. I took a test, and it came back 99.99% positive for HIV… I stare dumbfoundedly at the paper. My mind was doing more flips than an Olympic gold medalist. I tried desperately to switch the name that appeared… It was in bold letters that were stamped to the page. I-Imma southern boy, we don’t get down and get dirty! He ran the streets, he knew that he was wrong, but I stayed with him.… Lilo made the world feel so immense then to a small place where it was hard to breathe… he left the sheets in distress, but those sheets turned into a straight jacket, a straight jacket that compressed my chest until I could not feel life. I gave him everything, and he gave me nuthin! Imma southern boy, what makes you think imma sit here in a cona? I’m from the south. We don’t shiver and die! My love reaches as far as the moon, as deep at the ocean. My heart strings are as thick my bones, I give my all to my lova. And he does not give me a thang!

 

Lilo snatched everything from me like a thief in the night, and I let him.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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