life is just all one repeated loop

of trying to find pleasure in meaningless tasks

or hoping that the day can be free of struggles and pain

because all you have to do is endure and survive

to just make money 

then happiness comes later

if you are lucky,

then maybe you will find romance

or a career that will give substance to your existence

i do not know if it is my pessimism speaking and taking a toll on me

but life is just a blank canvas

that i have not had the chance to paint and decorate

because i cannot find my muse

my inspiration

to enthrall me

and so i continue breathing

but not actually living