Letters I Never Sent

Dear Farah,

Who’s the best?


Who’s the best?



That's the song you created years ago.

Over a decade ago.

We were in the attic,

Freezing in the winter and burning up in the summer.

We never seemed to mind, though;

We would have too much fun to care.

Those days are only distant memories now.

678 days ago was the tragic day.

Even as time passes, the memory is so vivid.

I didn't go to school that day.

Not because of what happened in that early morning

Before the sun was up.

Instead I was sick.

Maybe my body knew what happened before the rest of me.

I had just woken up.

My grandmother had taken my phone while I was sleeping.

“I just wanted to take a look at that."

Or so she said.

You were all over the news,

“Teen killed in car accident”

I bet you never thought that’s how it would end.

I really wonder what was going on in your head.

I just want to understand.

Why not leave us with anything to understand?

You left us with nothing.

I was left with one thing:

A cacophony of emotions

One that always remains stuck in my throat,

Suffocating the words I wanted to say.

Suffocated since I saw the casket.

This is my chance to finally say them to you.

With love,



Dear God,

Turn this pen into a telegram.

Each stroke sending a message to the one I miss.

With love,



Without you, my life is a darkness.

As I enter my future, everything is dark.

The path was light.

You lit it.

Now, I am going through things you never had the chance to.

I’m left in the dark.

I started to do things in your name.

For Farah.

That did bring some light into my life.

It also broke me more.

When I have failures,

I fail you.

And I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I would do anything to go back to the attic.

You and I could’ve faced the world.

Now I’m left scared.

This isn’t what you would have wanted.

You would’ve turned the cacophony into a symphony.

Your friends left your music where that tree met the car.

I know you are playing it now.

The saxophone on earth is cold,

But wherever you are,

You are playing and it is so


With love,


Dear Farah,

As I write this to you,

I am going to turn my cacophony into a symphony.

Starting with one song.

Who’s the best?


Who’s the best?


With love,


The one lighting the path after you.

This poem is about: 
My family


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