Knight In Shining Armor

Why is it

That when I’m in a crowd

Of eyes I’ve known for years

And voices that resonate deeper in my memory

Than yours,

It's your words,

Your presence, that I long for?

Maybe I just want you because

I know you’ll focus on me-

Care about what I have to say,

Remind me that I’m not alone

(Or am I?)

Or maybe you’re just an escape

And I want you to come and rescue me,

A dragon surrounded by knights;

Not attacking

But the sense of dread still remains

(But then again, are you not a knight yourself?)

But maybe-just maybe-

I just want you;

All of your quips and our joking-

Your laugh, your eyes,

Your hands holding mine

(But would it mean anything at all?

With each fiber of your being inclined

To flatter and flirt with each passing friend?

Who am I to deem myself above the rest?

Who is to say that I am special, among hundreds

Much more satisfactory,

Much easier to care for than I?)

I hate that when I find nothing else

To occupy my mind

That my every idle thought leads to you.

(Do you think that I want

To waste my time

Obsessing over someone who-

For all I know-

Doesn’t care about me

Nearly as much as I care about them?)

 

But-

This isn't really love, is it?

This is not truly a connection of two hearts,

Two minds-

But rather a fish pierced with a

Barbed and rusty hook

All because it was stupid enough to believe that

The bait it saw hadn't been used before

 

No.

This is not love.

Love is equal

Love is talking

Love is not waiting for something better

Love is not constant sadness

Love is not doubting all that you are

Love is not hoping

That maybe- just maybe-

this knight will be the one

Who will not slay you

no.

Love is finding another dragon

Who wards off attacks on you

As you would on them.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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